Cutie Patootie

dylanohcryin:

do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do

(via dropthebeatanddomyacapellas)

No Apologies
Eminem / The Re-Up

(Source: adil-ebrahim, via i-love-award-andcupcakes)

145 plays
If I Had
Eminem / The Slim Shady LP

(Source: 70s-shit, via i-love-award-andcupcakes)

2,893 plays
baretobush:

The Reality of Nude Photos
Alright, so this is a little bit of an unrelated note to my regular posts, but I feel like it’s important. I want to take just a quick minute to explain the difference I see between a naked body that’s posed and a naked body that is just that: a naked body.
When we look at naked people on the internet (be it Porn Stars, “selfies” taken by internet-famous bloggers, or professional freelance models), they are almost always in these poses that elongate the body, stretch out the muscles, show off the ribs, push the breasts forward and hide all of those squishy rolls that happen when we relax. I am not attacking them, so please don’t feel defensive if those are the kinds of photos you are a part of. They’re beautiful, I have no problem with them. I just feel called to point out that a body that looks so “sexy” or “slender” or “desirable” in one picture, can look squishy, vulnerable and saggy in the next just by letting go of a pose. No one wants to post those pictures, those are the ones you delete before they’re even out of the camera. No one wants to say, “Hey! Here’s a selfie of how my tummy puffs out and look, can you see the stretch marks on my breasts!?”
I took both of those pictures this morning, minutes apart. They’re both me. They’re both completely unedited. They are simply meant to show the difference between a body that is carefully designed to be sexy and well-received, and a body that is just sitting there being a naked body on a bed in the morning.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t pose in photos, or that photos designed to look sexy are bad whatsoever, so please don’t think that’s what I’m getting at. I just felt like sharing a picture of what a body really looks like sitting on a bed, instead of an image of what a body looks like carefully posed on a bed.

baretobush:

The Reality of Nude Photos

Alright, so this is a little bit of an unrelated note to my regular posts, but I feel like it’s important. I want to take just a quick minute to explain the difference I see between a naked body that’s posed and a naked body that is just that: a naked body.

When we look at naked people on the internet (be it Porn Stars, “selfies” taken by internet-famous bloggers, or professional freelance models), they are almost always in these poses that elongate the body, stretch out the muscles, show off the ribs, push the breasts forward and hide all of those squishy rolls that happen when we relax. I am not attacking them, so please don’t feel defensive if those are the kinds of photos you are a part of. They’re beautiful, I have no problem with them. I just feel called to point out that a body that looks so “sexy” or “slender” or “desirable” in one picture, can look squishy, vulnerable and saggy in the next just by letting go of a pose. No one wants to post those pictures, those are the ones you delete before they’re even out of the camera. No one wants to say, “Hey! Here’s a selfie of how my tummy puffs out and look, can you see the stretch marks on my breasts!?”

I took both of those pictures this morning, minutes apart. They’re both me. They’re both completely unedited. They are simply meant to show the difference between a body that is carefully designed to be sexy and well-received, and a body that is just sitting there being a naked body on a bed in the morning.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t pose in photos, or that photos designed to look sexy are bad whatsoever, so please don’t think that’s what I’m getting at. I just felt like sharing a picture of what a body really looks like sitting on a bed, instead of an image of what a body looks like carefully posed on a bed.

(via n-ooky)

WEVIBE Giveaway!

sara-meow:

I have two Thrill Solo G-Spot and Clitoral Vibrators (unopened in box!) I got for free when ordering plugs for my shop and they are regular 129.00!! They are waterproof,and charge with a usb ^_^ No batteries! 

image

Just reblog this,seriously all,and at the end of the week I’ll pick two people :) Simple as that! I already have one, so I literally have zero use for these!!

Goodluck! 

(via badoleman)

WEVIBE Giveaway!

sara-meow:

I have two Thrill Solo G-Spot and Clitoral Vibrators (unopened in box!) I got for free when ordering plugs for my shop and they are regular 129.00!! They are waterproof,and charge with a usb ^_^ No batteries! 

image

Just reblog this,seriously all,and at the end of the week I’ll pick two people :) Simple as that! I already have one, so I literally have zero use for these!!

Goodluck! 

(via badoleman)

phillipsocha:

sk-raveness:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.


This is life

phillipsocha:

sk-raveness:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.

This is life

(Source: pandaaamonium14, via imyour-density)

imperfect000000:

When you wake up and get your period and you’re like “oh that’s why I was crying uncontrollably last night over a jelly bean”

(via helloootricksterr)

sodamnrelatable:

but it was NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE

and it was YOUR HEART ON THE LINE

i really FUCKED IT UP THIS TIME

didn’t I MY DEAR

didn’t I my -

image

(Source: imcolinmorgaynow, via imyour-density)

“every kiss begins with ¿que?”
—  a confused spaniard (via guy)

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via homelessperson)